Note: The following story is NOT about everyone who frequents my gym, only selected individuals.

So, I go to the gym, on a fairly regular basis... I have my "up time", when I get physically mad and go almost every day, and then, I have my "down time", when I decide that I am in fact a sloth reincarnated and I don't go for days, sometimes even weeks on end. I have been going to the gym for about 2 years now and despite popular belief, all those who go to the gym do NOT have a perfectly form, solid, toned, kick arse body. In fact, in all my two years of going to the gym, aside from the instructors there, I haven't seen many "good" bodies. So, if you are someone who is intimidated to join a gym for fear of being "shown up" by perfect bodies, don't be... gyms in Malaysia cater for people who DON'T have the perfect body... this I know for when I joined my gym, I was hoping that there would be a little eye candy of sorts... sadly, I was mistaken .

In a conversation I had with a friend recently, apparently, gyms in America, namely Los Angeles are different, well, the ones he goes to anyways. Here, gyms are more of a social thingie... where people go to meet other people and hopefully get some sort of workout in the process. The gym he goes to in the States, well, they are all hardcore body builders, both the males and females... they go there to workout and not to socialise. But then again, he lives in Los Angeles, where the "perfect body" is a necessity, rather than the norm... go watch "Baywatch" and you'll see what I mean. I was also told that it is part of the culture there... to be healthy etc. Here however, we haven't embraced that culture. Sure, there are heaps of gyms in Kuala Lumpur and I have been to a few of them but people aren't as fanatical about their bodies as in Los Angeles. In fact, the gyms are a relatively new concept in Malaysia. As recent as 5 years ago, there weren't very many gyms around... the only ones to be found were in the 5 star hotels. Now, there chains of gyms opening up and the business has become quite competitive, but not to an extend where the services are affordable to the mass population. It is still considered a privilege here, to be able to afford to join a gym.

I have to admit that when I joined my gym all those two years ago, one of the main reasons was to meet people... i.e. guys . Being stuck in the same social circle just isn't "on" for me, so I thought why not? Little did I know that meeting guys in the gym in Malaysia is not a viable option. Why? Well, most of them are homosexual, gay, swings on the other side etc... sad but true *sigh*. Prior to me joining a gym, I was under the misconception that the gym would be an untapped resource for testosterone. I did work out in Australia for a while there, and let me tell you that some of the guys in that gym were utterly delicious, but then again, the workout culture there is different than it is here... there, people were serious about their health and physique. Come to think about it, I didn't meet anyone in the gym in Australia... I just went there to do my thing and I would leave. Whilst there are some who are serious about their health and physique here in Malaysia, going to the gym is a means for people to meet other people, pass the time etc.

So, if my main objective (i.e. to meet guys) wasn't fulfilled, why am I still a member? Well, I have to admit that I like working out... I hate cardio though but I do love pushing weights, I like the pain you get during, the pain you get after, the sense of satisfaction, the challenge I set myself and when I meet that challenge, I am at the top of the world, and then another challenge is set. I love it! I love the fact that I am not as wobbly and jiggly as I once was, I am not as weak, I don't think I am 'pear shaped" anymore and I can actually do push ups, something which two years ago, I simply could NOT do. When I go to the gym, yes, I know people there, yes, I talk a lot but I still work out, not like SOME others who go there for other reasons. I get the social niceties out of the way BEFORE and AFTER my workout... not during. People who know me know to stay out of my way when I workout, some are fine with that and understand, some are not.

Let me tell you a little about the people, well, the guys who frequent my gym. It is safe to say that at least half of the guys who go there are not heterosexual, some are more blatant than others and some are coming out of the closet. How do I know? Well, after going for so long, you can tell these things. To illustrate: a relatively nice looking new male member would walk in and he is dressed "normally", and then, a mere one month down the track, you see him in these ridiculously tight shorts and walking a little differently, plus he is being ever so friendly with the other male members. You kind of notice these things. Unfortunately, I have come to learn that males who care about their appearance in this country are usually gay. Why this is so, I have no idea. Heterosexual males here, well, they don't give a hoot. Sure, they might care about how they dress etc but they don't care about their physique. By some strange cosmic power, there are a LOT of SKINNY males in Malaysia. It could be due to their genetic makeup, the diet, air, or a combination of the factors but they are SKINNY. You can tell the difference between those who have lived overseas and those who haven't by their physique! We are not talking about slender here but downright SKINNY! This poses as a problem for me, for I like them big , not fat but big. I am digressing here...

Anyways, if you want to see "creative" workout attire, go to the gym and I guarantee that you would NOT be disappointed. When people go to the gym here, there are those who are dressed in the best that Nike, Reebok and Adidas has to offer. Needless to say, most of them don't have the bodies to match for these are the ones whose mouths get the most workout... posers as one friend of mine put it. Then there are those who are there to workout, and these are the ones who are dressed in the "most sensible" manner i.e. ratty old t-shirts and shorts which ordinarily wouldn't make it past the front door but is acceptable in the gym, because hey, "I am here to work out and not attract anyone". Then of course, there are the "flashers". OK guys, pay attention here.

I don't care what your sexual orientation is but guys, walking around in tight shorts and that short t-shirt really isn't ON. Sure, guys who wear spandex on the OUTSIDE are usually trying to attract other guys but come one matey... it is blardy obscene and we all know that spandex isn't the most flattering of material to adorn your skin. If you are in fact trying to attract males, let's just say that since the material is tight, the family jewels get squashed and you come across as being less than well endowed. This is a fact. You do NOT look good in the shorts. You do NOT look like that guy you see in advertisements (me thinks that they wear jock straps or something, to boost the size of the errmm bulge). Then, if you insist on wearing tight shorts, underwear is recommended, for some sort of support and to stop your southern hair from protruding through the material (believe it or not, this one I've seen). Also, adjust the family jewels so it doesn't look like it is contorted, in that "L" shape. That looks painful to those who don't have external plumbing!

If you are trying to attract females, despite what you might want to think, a flaccid penis is NOT a turn on... in fact, unless you have reached that "familiarity" phase in a relationship, never EVER show a female a flaccid penis. I don't know why but males tend to think that women look at the male genitalia much like males look at women's breasts. This is NOT true. We find them offensive when we are not turned on, or in the "mood" so to speak. Then, unless there are feelings involved in both parties, a flaccid one is about as appealing as a dead fish, cold and clammy so to speak . FYI, in case you are wondering, women tend to look at men's rear end, butt, arse etc. It is amazing how many guys don't know this and have a lack of a behind *sigh*. That is the turn on. This I didn't know but whilst looking for pictures for this story of mine, I discovered that is "padded" underwear on the market... much like padded bras for women, you have padded male underwear!! How's that for "development"??!!

There are many guys in my gym walking around in various degrees of tight shorts, some shorter than others... somehow, a guy is tight shorts is downright strange. I mean, doesn't it hurt or something??!! Then, there are those who walk around in spandex minus underwear. These are the ones where everything is on display for the world to see. There are those who actually have the foresight to wear underwear... you know those who are new to the "gay" thing when you see a "panty line". These are the ones who haven't discovered g-strings yet. Some of the guys in my gym have some really funky underwear... how do I know this? Well, white is the preferred colour for shorts, be it spandex or those "normal" cotton ones and we all know that white doesn't really hide a lot... and when I say funky, I mean FUNKY. Sometimes, I half expect the underwear to start sprouting music or something, like those novelty ones you see being sold during festive occasions like Valentines and Xmas.

Which brings me to another point. Gay, straight guys, take note. Yes, shorts are the preferred attire at gyms. If you stay away from spandex and prefer those loose, cotton ones, bear in mind that when you are on your back on that bench, with your legs spread, the whole world can see your family jewels. Think about it... those loose shorts have two openings for your legs, and they are NOT tight, so when you are doing that bench press, unless you have your legs up in the air, we can see the colour of your underwear. Again, females would rather NOT know what your balls look like BEFORE you have even exchanged saliva with them. Yes, yes, yes, when you were younger, you might have thought that looking up a girl's skirt was the ultimate turn on... this unfortunately doesn't apply to females for the reason stated above.

Oh, I can go on and on and on about some of the guys in my gym but am going to stop here for I can just see some of you out there cringing , that plus I come across as a pervert of sorts . What can I say? I am an observant kind of person... that plus when you when are in a cramped Step aerobics class, you can't help but notice these kind of things when they are directly in your line of sight? What can I do? Everywhere I look, there "it" is!! It's no wonder there are so few heterosexual males in Malaysia who go to the gym...

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