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I started noticing that the skin around my upper thighs are getting rather dry and splotchy. This is all due to the nicotine patch. Yes, yes, yes I move the location of the patch around every day as per the instructions i.e. the patch should be placed on a different part of the body each day. So, I dutifully "rotate" the location of the patch e.g. one day it's on my left thigh, the next, on my right. Even though I do this, the skin around that area is becoming irritated, even though I slather on the body lotion every night. So, today, I decided to relocate the patch and put it on my upper left arm... not a good place to put it by the way. Actually, I haven't found a single good place to put the patch yet come to think about it. According to nicorette, one can bathe, swim and shower without it ever coming off. I have yet experience a day when my patch isn't in danger of falling off. Why? Well, even though I follow the instructions, more often than not, the entire patch doesn't stick to the skin. Skin is soft and tends to fold / crease and the patch does that as well. When that part of the body is eventually straightened, the patch doesn't stay on and you have to press it down again. Now, putting it on my upper left arm, well, some people thought that I had some medical problem or something. One person even thought that I had a tattoo done recently. Attention is one thing but the probability of it falling off is another. During body pump class, well, due to the extensive movements we have to do, my patch started peeling off. I don't think the designers of the patch took sweat into consideration when designing the glue for the product. Take heed: if a section of the patch starts peeling off and if sweat gets in, the glue ceases to work. So there I was in body pump class, barbell high above my head when I see the patch slowly starting to peel off... LOVELY. As I didn't want to stop the work out, all I could do was keep on moving, hoping and praying that the patch wouldn't fall off!! That was one of the longest exercise tracks of my life!! Day 16 :: Wednesday, 15 October 2003
So last night I went clubbing for the first time since I stopped smoking. Went to this nightclub for a product launch. Now, clubbing and smoking go hand in hand. Don't know why that is but it is true. I read somewhere that if one were to go to a nightclub, one's clothes would be saturated with approximately one pound of ciggie smoke by the time he / she returns. Hard to believe right? But think about it, if you went to a nightclub, you'd come back stinking of ciggie smoke right? Everything on your person would stink. So, on day 16, I went to a local club with the BF. I really didn't think anything of it but sometime during the course of the night i.e. approximately 30 - 45 minutes of us being there, I started getting irritated, I started clenching my hands and teeth. I noticed that I was becoming REAL uneasy about my surroundings and wanted to get out. I felt stifled somewhat, suffocated so to speak. It was then that I realised that I WANTED a ciggie... no scratch that, I WANTED A PACK of cigarettes. This nightclub that we went to, well, it used to be one of my regular haunts. I bumped into a few people I knew there, ALL of them smoked. One particular guy I knew asked me for a lighter and when I told him that I stopped smoking, he called me a "loser". Is he right? Am I a loser in that circle of "friends"? When I think about it sometimes, I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I don't smoke. I must be the most boring individual on the face of the earth!! Jokes aside though, lesson learnt today: avoid places where smoking is part of the social norm / atmosphere. What did I do? Well, we left the club and headed off to a less smokey environment, a restaurant cum bar where everyone at our table smoked as well *sigh*. I am surrounded by smokers. This time, things weren't so bad. Why? Well, the bar was well ventilated, there were smokers and non smokers there, as opposed to 95% of people smoking in a nightclub. Day 17 :: Thursday, 16 October 2003
Last night, the BF took me out to dinner at a nice restaurant... one of the first times we've been to one since I quit smoking. Prior to us arriving at the restaurant, he asked me, "whose turn is it today"? Not realising what he was talking about, I went "HUH?" Turns out that he wanted to know whether we were going to sit at a smoking or non smoking section in the restaurant. I think that he was thinking about that... I certainly wasn't. Well, I told him that we could sit in the smoking section. Having once smoked myself, I do know how uncomfortable it is for a smoker to not smoke and I didn't want that happening to him. So in the smoking section we sat. That didn't bother me one tiny bit. Then, after a really good meal where we got well and truly stuffed, he lit up. I couldn't. Having a ciggie after a meal is one of the best times to light up, believe you me. It's like having an after dinner mint. Despite my belly being filled to capacity, I wanted MORE. We are talking about being FULL... where you KNOW that if you put in one more morsel of food in, you'd explode. Despite his offers for me getting dessert, I declined. But then, I got irritated. So what did I do? After we left the restaurant, he went browsing in this really cool electronics shop. I walked over to Baskin Robbins, with all its 31 flavours and got myself dessert. I couldn't resist! Not because I am a big ice cream fan mind you... but because I NEEDED something sweet, something to end my meal so to speak. Lovely. No wonder ex smokers put on weight. I know I am!! Day 18 :: Friday, 17 October 2003
Almost made it to two full hours today of consciousness without nicotine
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Day 19 :: Saturday, 18 October 2003Met up with my gym / dive buddy today for a workout... she noticed that I'm putting on weight!! GRRRR... made me work even harder. Am predicting that I won't be able to move tomorrow. Day 20 :: Sunday, 19 October 2003
Today I went to stock up on nicotine patches yet again. Somehow, I can't believe that it has only been almost three weeks since I stopped smoking! GRRRR... it feels like it's been FOREVER! So, I went to get myself another pack. I did think of reducing the dosage of my patches i.e. down to 10mg but then I decided against it. Why? Well, I've been reading a few diaries and writings of those people who tried to stop smoking whilst on the patch. Like me, they decided to reduce the dosage and they did it too soon. Needless to say, most of them started smoking again, even whilst on the patch. I don't want that happening to me. I've come this far! So, I've decided to stay on 16mg for another week more. That would bring the grand total to 4 weeks and then start on the 10mg ones. The 10mg ones are cheaper than the 16mg ones... gawd, it is really pissing me off to spend so much money on nicotine patches. Had a tough time today trying to rationalise me spending all that money to kick a habit which (unfortunately) I still love. I've spent heaps of money on ciggies and now I am spending even more money (on a daily basis) trying to kick the habit. The BF took the grunt of my temper unfortunately... thankfully (bless the kind soul) he is a VERY understanding sort of person. For the life of me, I couldn't remember the reasons why I quit smoking today... he reminded me. Another reason is that I will be going away for next week, to another one of my island trips. Like nightclubs, somehow, being out in the open, breathing in fresh sea air is VERY conducive to smoking. Most of the local island folk I know are BIG TIME smokers. I don't want to be tempted to smoke whilst on my trip... chain smokers everyone is. Surprising huh? One of the best times to smoke is after a dive... you climb out of the boat and light up... yummmm... if I somehow make it through with no ciggies on my trip, I think that I've got the habit kicked!!
Day 21 :: Monday, 20 October 2003So on day 21, (PHEW!! Can't believe I made it this far!!) I:
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