OK this story is about clothes. How are clothes related to an automatically
locking door you might ask? Well, there are times when I have gone to the
ladies (located OUTSIDE) the office (much like an outhouse 
and I can't get back in the office. I hate
ringing the door bell because someone from the inside has to get up and let
me in. Now, I have noticed that the males in this office do not have that
sort of problem. Their key cards are always in their shirt pockets! Females
on the other hand, do not have the luxury of shirt pockets, or pockets for
that matter. You see, female clothes are not very practical... there are
many clothes out there which do not have pockets! That is why females always
carry hand bags.
A male would shudder at the thought of wearing a pair of pants which does not have a single pocket on it. However, there are female pants out there which do not have any pockets at all and trust me when I say that they are the most irritating pieces of garments to wear. The reason for no pockets? Well, I am presuming that the designer thought that the female silhouette isn't flattered by pockets i.e. unsightly buldges. Or perhaps, they (the females) carry their hand bags everywhere... NOT.
With regards to shirt pockets... not many female tops come with pockets. At the time of writing, I am wearing a female top, designed to be a "male one", complete with long sleeves, stiff collar, cuff links etc. but no shirt pocket. Instead, there is the designers logo where the pocket is supposed to be. It is customary (from what I have observed and have been told) for males to keep certain things in their shirt pockets e.g. a pen, key card etc. These things are the normal things that go into their shirt pocket every day, much like jewellery. Females don't have that luxury. They just chuck all their everyday stuff into their handbags and that's about it. The men in my office all carry their key card in their shirt pockets. It is very easy for them to reach into the pocket to fish it out when the time comes. Females on the other hand have to dig long and hard into their handbags for the card. Totally disgusting. Female clothes are so impractical (or perhaps the breasts get in the way??)!
Recently, I went shopping for a pair of black pants. Instead of buying the
female ones, I decided to shop in the men's department. One of the reasons
why I did that is because it is hard to find a local cut of pants that fit
me in this country. The pants are usually too short and I detest having the
leg of my pants ride up to my knee everytime I sit down. So I decided to try
on the men's cut. I found these pair of black pants, from Dockers which I
believe is a well known American brand. I bought the smallest size possible
(and it is still a little big around the waist and hips but the length fits
me just fine ). Now, these pants are
already pre-shrunk, anti-crease and it has this band built into the waist
which (I have been told) is supposed to stop the shirt from riding up. Then,
much to my surprise, there is this little pocket built IN the front,
right pocket, right at the bottom... superb for holding coins and little
knick knacks. That totally blew me away... no way are you going to find all
these wonderful things in female clothes!! No little hidden coin pockets...
no anti crease material etc.
Female clothes are so impractical that it ain't funny. There are a lot of female clothes that look like they are going to fall apart at the merest fart! I like clothes which can stand a lot of wear and tear. I like clothes which I can romp around in (if need be)... I like clothes which I don't have to be all primp and proper and dainty. I know that there are a lot of females out there who are really dainty and delicate and who love dressing up in frills, lace etc. All that is well and fine... if they enjoy that, who am I to stop them?? That is their preference. My preference is wearing clothes which have the same durability as men's!! It is not to say that I am the sort that goes wrestling everytime I wear clothes but I am the sort that wears clothes out quite fast (I am not sure how I do it but I do).
Also, I am the sort which likes gimmicks... like that little coin pocket thingie mentioned above. Have you noticed how female shoes are so totally impractical that it isn't funny? Heels for example... some of them are a diaster waiting to happen. Some look like they will fall apart after 2 - 3 wears. Some look like the wearers need a degree in balancing in order to wear them. The soles are so thin that it doesn't matter if one wears the shoe or not. Straps which resemble spaghetti, colours only a blind man could love, non existant arch support... the works. Female shoes are really terrible.
Men on the other hand complain that they have to pay heaps for a decent pair of shoes... but then, look at the kind of shoes they get... the wonderful arch support, the air filled heels, the anti slip, anti skid soles, the built in bubble thingies, the wonderful leather etc. Where is the fairness in all of this? Nope, I don't wear men's shoes but I have to admit that I am pretty tempted...
Oh... 'tis so unfair... 'tis so unfair to be a maiden in this high tech
world . Or perhaps, I am just a male
trapped in a female body?
