. Anyways, she loved it so much that she wanted to meet up with my boyfriend's mum and learn how to cook it. She was very insistent about it so we (my boyfriend and me) set up a meeting. Now, this is the first time that his family is meeting any member of my family so we were a little nervous about it. Well, the meeting happened last night. My aunt cooked us a fabulous dinner and invited his mum over... horror of horrors, my grandmother and another aunt and uncle were there. That was a little unexpected... but thank gawd, the meeting went on fine.
Now, in case you are wondering... what on earth happened to MY parents?? Well, I have known my boyfriend for about 9.5 years now and we have been going out for about 2.5 years... we have known each other for ages upon ages. However, not once during this time has our parents met. His mum has invited my mum out on a number of occasions but my mum has always declined... at first, when his mum started asking my mum out (always through me)... I would come up with an excuse on her behalf citing one excuse or another... both my boyfriend and I felt that it wasn't the right time. I let this slip to my parents by accident one day and my dad told me off... saying that if there were any invitations to be made, he would like to make his own decision as to whether or not he would like to go. Fine... but then, when we thought that it would be a good idea to come over here and make the dish... mum and dad said no... reason being, they didn't want to meet up with my boyfriend's mum so soon... not until we have set a date for marriage!! Now, how embarrassing is that? I mean, helives in a penthouse and thus his kitchen isn't very big so we needed the use of a bigger kitchen... now, we have to go all the way to my aunt's place (she lives about 45 minutes away).
You see, the reason why my parents don't want to meet up with my boyfriend's parents is because they are embarrassed by the fact that me and him sleep together... and I don't mean just having sex... we actually spend the nights together. Dad says that we are acting like "man and wife" (that phrase in itself is a condescending and high chauvinistic term). I go over to his's place every night to sleep... Granted this is not the traditional Asian norm but what on earth?? I mean, come on... we are just sleeping together and that is cause for my parents to be embarrassed. We had a long talk with my parents quite a while ago and they said that it was fine if we sleep together but not under their roof... that is quite fair we thought so we go over to his place where his parents are VERY cool. They (my parents) think that because I sleep over there, I am bad person and thus, it makes them bad parents. Oh for gawd's sake already!! Who ever said that sleeping with someone is a bad thing? My parents are fairly traditional people (dad more so than mum) but what on earth is tradition? We are living in a modern world and things and people are changing every day. To me, tradition denotes something that was done ages and ages ago, and because people didn't know any better, they stuck by it. However, people do change.
Malaysia is trying to be a modern country... it is currently in a very high state of development... however, the country wants to get developed but at the same time, they want to hold on to their traditional beliefs. Now... how is that possible? They want the "best of both worlds". Best?? I don't think so. They want all these modern infrastructure... they want their youth to be educated etc. But with education comes a certain degree of self-independence. See, the government wants to tell its citizens how to think, what to wear, what movies to watch, what is good and what isn't good. Any educated person will tell you that not only is that grossly unfair but is stupid. How would you like to live in a country where every one is so scared of the government that you become a clone?
That is exactly what is happening now. The government, like my parents want to become a modern entity but then, at the same time, hold on to traditional beliefs. The thing with tradition is that who ever said that it is the right way of doing things? Tradition just means the way things have been done for yonks... no one ever questioned it and thus, we are stuck with it. And the best part about it... anyone who opposes the traditional way of thinking automatically becomes a bad person. By now, you must be wondering why is it that my parents don't stop me from going over to my boyfriend's place... well, I am a very strong willed person and short of physically locking me up, they can't do anything about it. Besides, I suspect that they thought that my boyfriend and I won't last... how wrong they were . So am I a bad person? They seem to think so. I don't steal, I don't do drugs, I don't lie, I try to do the right thing all the time... does sleeping with someone with whom I am not married to make me a bad person? I don't think so. They tell me that I am an embarrassment to them but I feel that THEY are the source of embarrassment... what on earth do I tell his parents when they want to meet up??
